Polyamory

from Not the Same as it Used to Be by Party Walsh

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lyrics

i’m just a cisgendered white male
so afraid to fail
i am tripping on my own feet
crawling in the street

she’s a free soul rebel
white college female
she’s kind, open minded
i’m smitten but i’m stale

i ask her if she’d marry me
you want to start a family?
i didn’t think to ask
if she’s into polyamory

i feel so confused
am i insecure or obsolete?
i’m trying i’m trying
but i can’t fall asleep

i do all i can for her
but don’t open doors for her
though i was raised to
say please and thank you

i don’t want to be a patriarchal bore
and i know now much more than i knew before
i don’t say smile anymore

she’s so attractive
she has turned my whole world backwards
still my normative upbringing
is bound to shape my thinking

i have so much anxiety
some things just don’t seem right to me
is that bias? can i try this?
have i ever been free?

i want to say our love is strong
i want to know i still belong
i need to move beyond my fear of falling
and just jump

i do all i can for her
but don’t open doors for her
though i was raised to
say please and thank you

to sit with one’s discomfort and desire
to love and let love on a plane that’s higher
to rid one’s self of angst and jealousy
to trust in someone else so completely

isn’t that what love could be?

credits

from Not the Same as it Used to Be, released November 8, 2018

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Party Walsh Boston, Massachusetts

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